We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
