So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
