we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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