I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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