forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
