Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize