I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
