That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
