...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize