woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
