just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
