1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i think i have herpe
just one?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
