His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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