where am i from again
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
