What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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