Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
