I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
