So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
