I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
