The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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