Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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