In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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