Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
