is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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