you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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