I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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