Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
