Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
