Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
