Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
