dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
