I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
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The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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