he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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