I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
