he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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