Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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