it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
