But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
