she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You are a genius and a whore.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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