Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
