she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
