I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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