Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
