idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Damn victory sex feels great
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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