so let's talk penis.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
