Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
