i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
how drunk are you?
Several
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
