I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
