Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize