Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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