i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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