New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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