P.S. I can't hear my feet
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
