if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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