can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
