tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
