Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
