I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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