normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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