there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
