I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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