Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize