HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
