At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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