god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
