I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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