Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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