...so i touched it.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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