I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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